Do I have to care about golf to go to the championship? No? Cool.

Will call is at SouthPark or Carowinds. I’m at neither. Perfect. Thank you, gentleman on the golf cart, for saving me and my friends – but not for asking if we know how to read the fine print. 

Half of the group in question:

Golf style – and those ill-fitting, brightly-colored and patterned pants – should be reserved only for the golfers.

Wow. I feel like I should be whispering. 

Wait. I am whispering.

I’d rather have 10 people yelling at me while I try to concentrate than 300 people silently staring.

Please be worth the $7-9 I just paid for you.

Forget the 18th hole. The 14th by the putting green is where everybody should be, all the time.

No mixed drinks allowed outside the fenced-in area because I’m apparently a literal party animal.

Of course it’s all portajohns until you get to the 18th hole and find this.

And I could have been using THIS all day? 

These are the most polite trash cans I’ve ever seen.

Is she a fashion blogger, golf blogger, Instagram model or just doing it for the ‘gram? 

And is that guy laughing at her, with her, at the entire crowd, or is he just tired?

And, most importantly, when can I move in?