(1) You’re used to getting sympathy when you tell people where you live. The award for most used condolence goes to: “I hear the schools are great.”
(2) You’re from the North and consider Charlotte the tropics, where everything is permanently 50% off.
(3) You know the difference between all the Ardreys and sound like a pirate saying it. Arrrdrey, Arrrdrey Kell, Old Arrrdrey, Wade Arrrdrey…
(4) You had Survivor flashbacks an hour into the 5-acre, 2 mile, Hall Family Farm corn maze and you cut through to get out. Cheaters.
(5) At least once a week, you hear about how cheap the taxes and how good the schools are in Union County. But do they have two Targets within a mile of each other? Nope.
(6) You accidently went to the wrong Starbucks for a meeting. They’re everywhere.
(7) You go to South Carolina to fuel up your gas guzzling vans and SUVs. You know who you are.
(8) You know about the athleisure-wearing mom mafia commission that meets at Zoe’s at noon on school days. Moms, we love you, don’t whack us.
(10) You hate 485.
— leisure boy (@churningbutterz) July 21, 2014