While catching up on the Real Housewives of Potomac, I was inspired to take on the hard-hitting journalistic task of giving Charlotte neighborhoods their own housewives taglines.
These are made in good fun, with the help of my fellow pop culture connoisseurs and esteemed colleagues Emma and Paige.
Background: If you’re completely unfamiliar with Real Housewives taglines, here’s a primer and the SNL parody.
South End
Don’t hate me because I’m expensive, hate me because I don’t have any parking.
[Related Axios guide: 32 things to do, eat, and drink in South End]
Dilworth
I never feel guilty being this expensive and cute.
[Related Axios guide: 21 things to do, see, and eat in Dilworth]
LoSo
Sweetie, it’s not just a rebrand, it’s a revolution.
OR
I need to give my publicist a raise. You can’t keep my name out of your mouth.
Plaza Midwood
All this change is going to cost a pretty penny.
[Related Axios guide: 25 things to do, eat and drink in Plaza Midwood]
NoDa
Being this cool is an art.
[Related Axios guide: 20 things to do, eat and drink in NoDa]
Uptown
I’m the crown jewel of the Queen City, honey.
[Related Axios guide: 17 things to do, see, and eat in Uptown]
Myers Park
I may be old money but my G Wagon is brand new.
[Related Axios guide: 20 things to do, eat and drink in Myers Park]
Wesley Heights
These trendy ’hoods are cute, but they’ll never outlast a classic.
[Related Axios guide: 20 things to do, see, and eat in the historic West End]
Ballantyne
They say I’m bland, but I’m seasoned with cash.
[Related Axios guide: 9 things to do, eat and drink in Ballantyne, 15 miles south of Uptown]
University City
Honey, don’t sleep on this, I’ll school you.
[Related Axios guide: 18 things to do, eat, and drink in University City]
Ninety’s Pumpkin Pie Milkshake
